(no subject)

I like: repeating one word or phrase. until it means something else. I like: dialogue that involves repeating one word or phrase. I like: checking my mail before getting out of bed, writing emails in my sleep. i like being upset about things in general. i do not like feeling useless. i like: to laugh. infinitives. pans hidden in the oven. music makes me shiver. i like: memorizing poems. blenders. unintentional celibacy. saints. the pope. i miss: the pope. flowers. the moon before she was so damned expectant. the earliest religions have the sun as female and the moon as male. i like: phones and not thinking about what you say. I like typing while looking at something else and daydreaming. I like: daydreaming. I dont care: who I am. I dont care: who you are. i dont care: what I do. I care: what I will do. I want: every morning I look for a reason to exist. i look for some mirror to see myself in. i dont like: mirrors. i'm ugly but in your imagination. i want: poetry. i want: music. i know: none of it matters. why are humans afraid of serpents and enamoured of birds? are we jealous of that subconscious gap, between dinosaur and condor? what is semolina and why am I eating it. people who want to be animals are frightening, people who want to be humans are disheartening. I like: every thought comes together in some world where everything is perfect. I want: the anti-poignancy principle. I want: light. i want: animal utopia. i want: never to have been and always to have continued to be. every sun is a star, don't forget. we drink the nectar of eternity, and some such nonsense. I wont like you unless youre crazy, like me. all I ask of anyone is that they destroy me. i tell you some days I claim to have made the world myself like a good creator- something so nice and of itself complete that it needs everything but individuals. and so will have nothing to do with me, or you, or you, or you, anything but the thoughts of us. and like a good creator I live with it in my head but let it not disturb my true vocation: eating, drinking, sleeping, sleeping, sleeping, thinking.