andalus: (Default)
UP: After the first ten or so minutes, which is a wet, sloppy drop-kick to the heart, what is this movie about? By the time I got cleaned up and blew my nose twice and was able to see clearly again they were already in South America somewhere with some sort of giant bird and some bulldogs and a giant waterfall and other stuff that isn't in South America. So your childhood hero is a dick, and you fail at your quest, but you find a new quest out of that quest and go home realizing that you didn't need to take the quest except that it made you realize you didn't need to take the quest except you get a dirigible out of it so maybe you'll be able to go on new quests to find out you didn't need to go on them. Also there's a fat Asian kid.

The annoying kid is surprisingly well-rounded (pun!) once you get used to him, and talks more like a real annoying kid than a Disney annoying kid. There's moments when he's mumbling about the father that the movie really doesn't want to talk about where you get glimpses of the brilliant sadness-explosion of the first few minutes, but more often he's comic relief and the recurring damsel-in-distress/massive-liability.

Is the movie as a whole a giant waste of time? Yes, after that first bit it consistently wastes its impetus like the helium leaking out of a million colorful balloons. So, is the movie a metaphor for its hero's failed quest? Maybe, but you don't get a dirigible out of it. And all I really want is a dirigible.

March 2017

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